Love me
by lakritsnr1
Summary: Sasuke loves Naruto, but Naruto don't love him back. I can't write summaries, so just read it! Contains shounen-ai/yaoi, suicide, angst, KisaIta and NaruSasu.


**Warnings: shounen-ai/yaoi, NaruSasu, mentions of sex (kinda), suicide, blood. **

**A:n: I feel happy about writing this. I needed to write a angsty thing. With someone taking suicide and my dear friend UchihaAkimoto presented me this challenge about us writing a NaruSasu with words and phrases we picked out. We have our own judges that we have carefully handpicked. Too bad that she resigned... Well, that makes me the winner MUHUHUHUHUHA! The conditions were:**

--NaruSasu

**--Over 1000 words (Friday 7/11 16.13 I had written 1339 words... And yes, I was bored!)**

**--Has to contain the words and phrases:**

**"razorblade"**

**"screwdriver"**

**"cold water"**

**"superstar"**

**"Check that rainbow out, yeah/un/man/hmm!"**

**"Ooh... wild and crazy."**

**And that's all. This is kinda wierd since everyone is kinda OOC. Naruto is suicidal, Sasuke is a clueless, loving uke, Itachi is a great brother who loves his little Sasuke, Kisame is a oversexual monster and Deidara is a figment of Sasuke's imagination... Wich is just sad...**

**OHOHOH! I have figured out what Sasuke's suffering from! BBBB-syndrome. I'm a genious.**

**A little begging: please review and tell me what you think and please, please, please, tell me about grammar mistakes.**

**Disclaimer: By now everyone know that no one else but Masashi Kishimoto owns Naruto.**

**Read the author's note!**

Naruto shivered and dipped his face down into the shallow, **cold water**. He opened his eyes and felt the cold water sting them. He relaxed and blew air out of his nose. Way too soon the need of oxygen made him pull himself up. He stared at his beautiful face with big, blue eyes and perfect lips in the mirror. He tried not to think of the other beautiful boy, who was currently asleep on the big bed in his bedroom behind the closed door. The boy who had seen past the **superstar**-glamour that surronded Naruto and had fallen in love with Naruto the person and not with Naruto the model. The boy with raven hair and warm, black eyes. The boy that would do almost anything for him. The boy he almost loved.

"Naru? Are you okay?" A voice that seemed made of silk reached his ears.

"Yes, I'm fine. Go back to sleep. You need it." Naruto almost smiled. No way he would hurt the boy by letting him know what he did behind closed doors. He cared about him too much.

"But it's cold without you." The silk voice whined and the boy banged the door.

"I'll be right there, sweetie. No need to be angry at the defenceless door." Naruto took one look at the sink, but decided not to. He would notice them and make a scene, something Naruto didn't like. He unlocked the door and came face to face with the petite, beautiful boy whom had spoken.

"You're wet." He complained.

"No shit, Sherlock." Naruto stared at the boy's pouty lips. "Kiss me."

"Of course, Naru." The boy leaned up and pressed his soft lips against Naruto's cold, wet ones.

"Mmm... you're so soft and tasty." Naruto slid his tounge along the boy's lips. The boy parted them willingly and more or less sucked the wet muscle in. Naruto almost winced at the eagerness. The boy slid his arms up around Naruto's neck and pressed closer. Naruto pulled away and the boy pouted.

"I'm not finished."

"You have to sleep." Naruto turned the boy around towards the bed.

"But I want to have sex."

"And I want you to sleep." Naruto kissed his cheek. "Now." He pushed the boy down on the bed and slid down beside him.

"Are you sure, Naru?" The boy smiled seductive and licked his lips.

"Yes. Shut up and sleep!" Naruto closed his eyes and sighed.

"Fine." The boy huffed. "Good night, Naru. I love you."

"Good night, Sasuke." Sasuke waited 30 seconds before leeeting go of the hope that Naruto would say that he loved him.

**The next morning...**

Sasuke searched for Naruto behind him with his hand, but didn't have any Naruto to find. He turned and saw a paper on Naruto's pillow. He picked it up and read it slowly:

_Sasuke, I had to go to work and I didn't want to wake you up. There's some food in the fridge. You should eat._

_Naruto._

Sasuke bit his lower lip in a try not to start crying. Not a bit of love in the short little note. If the roles were reversed and he was the one forced to leave, he would have written how much he missed Naruto and how much he loved him and that he would be back soon and such. But he could see two positive things in the short note. One: Naruto wanted him to have his much needed sleep and two: he said that he wanted the Uchiha to eat... Wich would be best for Sasuke. The last time Sasuke had skipped eating for a day Naruto had nearly forced food down his throat to get him to eat something. He sighed and picked his cell up and dialed a number.

_"Aah... Hello... no, st-op that... it's It-AAH-chi."_

"Hi, aniki." Sasuke smiled at his brother's strained voice.

_"Oooh... Sas-uke?... St-op it, I said... What do you want?" _Itachi moaned into the phone.

"If you and Kiame-san are busy I can call back later." Sasuke offered his brother.

"_No-ooh... It's fine." _Itachi made a sound somewhere between a squeak and a groan. Pretty funny sound actually. "_Now, tell me."_

"Can we have lunch in about an hour and talk about it?"

_"O-of course, otouto. The ordinary place?" _Sasuke heard a grunt in the background.

"Yes, I'll let you and Kisame finish now." Almost before he had ended his sentence Itachi hung up on him. Sasuke smiled once again and sat down to wait.

**About an hour later... At the ordinary place...**

"I don't think Naruto loves me." Sasuke stated it as he watched the bubbles in his soda flow to the surface.

"It's not really a lunch if you don't eat, and why do you think that?" Itachi cocked his head to the side.

"I'm not hungry, and he never say he does or act like it." Sasuke poked his glass and sighed.

"You'll end up as a skeleton! How long have you been going out?" Itachi took a bite out of his food and chewed on it thoughtfully before swallowing.

"I will not end up as a skeleton! By some fucked up miracle you'll end up pregnant with Kisame and stuck with psychotic, blue kids. Soon six months."

"SIX MONTHS?! And no 'I love you' from him?!" Itachi stared at his baby brother, their lesser important argument completely forgotten. "You should leave him."

"But I love him. And he cares about me. That makes this so hard." Sasuke nearly started to cry.

"I know you love him. But it's clear that he don't love you back. Find someone who actually loves you and not only care about you." Itachi sighed and watched as the tears threatened to spill. "And I care about you too. I want you to be happy, and you're not happy right now." He stretched his hand over the table and grasped Sasuke's hand in a comforting gesture.

"I'll wait two more weeks. If he hasn't told me he loves me by then, I'll break up with him." Sasuke smiled sadly at his brother. "If Naruto calls and wonders if I have eaten-"

"- I'll say yes. Sure thing." Itachi ruffled Sasuke's hair with his free hand.

"Thank you." Sasuke smiled. **(A/N: Sasuke smiles... A lot! It seems kinda fucked up.)**

**Later... (**_**Dreamsequence**_**)**

_Sasuke stood on a field surronded by rotting bodies. He only smiled and acted like it was an everyday thing to be surronded by corpses. He breathed in, but he didn't smell the stench from the deformed bodies. He smelled flowers instead. Not all jumbled up like it would normally be. He could smell each flower and he couldn't identify a third of them. He looked over at the horisont and saw a blonde boy standing at the entrance to a garden wich seemed to be the source of smell. The boy waved at Sasuke, encouraging him to come closer. Sasuke, mesmerized by the boy and the fragrance, started to run and soon he reached the beautiful boy with a sparkling blue eye._

_"Come Sasuke, un!" The blonde grabbed his arm and pulled him into the garden._

_"How do you know my name?" Sasuke asked absent-minded as he was lost in the beauty of the garden._

_"I don't know, un! But you have kept me waiting, un!" The boy laughed and dragged Sasuke farther in. "My name is Deidara, un!"_

_"Deidara..." Sasuke laughed with the boy and they ran around in the garden for what felt as forever._

_"__**Check that rainbow out, un!**__" Deidara pointed towards the sky. Sasuke looked up and saw the clearest rainbow he had ever seen._

_"It's so beautiful." Sasuke took a step towards it, but Deidara yanked him back. "Deidara?"_

_"Don't go there, un! Promise me that you won't go to the rainbow, un!" Deidara's blue eye widened with fright._

_"What do you mean?" Sasuke asked in confusion, a bit scared at Deidara's outburst._

_"You'll die, un! Promise, un!" Deidara started to shake with panic and Sasuke felt like crying._

_"I won't! I promise! Don't cry!" Sasuke pleaded and touched Deidara's cheek right under his eye to wipe away the tears that had fallen._

_"You will, un. Eveyone goes there, un." Deidara's eye rolled back in his skull and he made a strange noise of pain._

_"DEIDARA!" Suddenly Sasuke was standing at the rainbow with Deidara clinging onto his arm. At the end of the rainbow stood Naruto surronded by light, smiling at him._

_"Naru..." Sasuke smiled back._

_"Sasuke, come here." Naruto beckoned on him with a finger._

_"NO, UN! DON'T, UN!" Deidara clinged harder, screaming in terror._

_"Let go of him." Naruto growled at the other blonde._

_"Deidara, what's wrong?" Sasuke asked, not just scared, but afraid of the blonde after the outburst this time._

_"You'll die, un. He'll crush your heart and feast on your misery, un. Stay here with me, un." Deidara sobbed and begged._

_"Like I would do that to you, Sasuke. Now, come." Naruto smiled his most dazzling smile._

_"Yes, Naru." Sasuke brushed Deidara off of him and walked up to him._

_"NO, UN! SASUKE, UN!" Deidara screamed as Naruto kissed Sasuke before blowing up._

_"Deidara!" Sasuke screamed._

_"Now you'll be mine forever, Sasuke." Sasuke looked back at Naruto at the same time Naruto took out his heart and crushed it in his hand._

**In real life...**

Sasuke gasped for air as he sat up in the bed. He touched his face and realized he was crying. He looked aound the room, searching for Naruto. He spotted him sitting at the window with a apathetic expression on his face. "Naru." He sighed with relief.

"Who is Deidara? Naruto turned to look at him, pronouncing the name with venom in his voice.

"A figment of my imagination." Sasuke got up and walked slowly towards Naruto.

"You sounded pretty upset about something concerning him." Naruto sighed as Sasuke straddled him.

"I had a nightmare." He mumbled against Naruto's smooth neck.

"Not in the beginning. You laughed." Naruto pointed out.

"It escelated into a nightmare." Sasuke kissed the pale throat that slightly shivered under his touch.

"How did he look?" Naruto closed his eyes.

"Do we have to talk about that?" Sasuke pouted.

"No, I'm just curious." Natuto dragged his fingers through Sasuke's hair.

"That feels so good, Naru." Sasuke moaned and pressed himself closer.

"Please, Sasuke, not tonight." Naruto shoved Sasuke off himself.

"But-"

"- No. Go to sleep." Naruto stood up and walked over to the bathroom.

"Good night, Naru." Sasuke bit his inner cheek to prevent the tears that threatened to fall.

"Night, Sasuke." Naruto closed the door behind him and leaned against it. He sighed when he heard muffled sobs. "I'm so, so sorry, Sasuke." He whispered. He walked over to the sink and grabbed a **razorblade**. He made a thin cut across his left wrist. He let out a low hiss at the slight sting. He cut himself over and over again, watching small droplets of blood rain down on the white ceramic. He almost groaned, he stopped it, however, in fear of waking Sasuke up.

_'He's too fucking good for me. I don't deserve someone like him.' _With that thought he cut a little deeper than the previous cuts.

"Fuck..." He hissed loudly.

"Naru?" Sasuke's newly awakened voice almost forced him to remember how much of a light sleeper his lover was.

"I'm fine, sweetie." He tried to make his voice sound relaxed and calm. "Sleep."

"Okay..." Naruto concentrated on breathing in and out for a couple of minutes, waiting on Sasuke's light snoring. Eventually, he walked out and slid down into the bed, putting his arm around Sasuke, He kissed the soft cheek and smiled sadly.

"I'm so sorry, Sasuke." He whispered barely audible against Sasuke's collarbone.

"So am I, Naru." Sasuke whispered back after the blonde boy had fallen asleep.

**A new day dawns...**

Naruto stretched in the bed when Sasuke came in with brekfast.

"Oh, you're already awake." Sasuke smiled happily.

"Yes, I am." Naruto raised an eyebrow at the breakfast.

"I thought that you maybe wanted some breakfast before leaving." Sasuke climbed into the bed.

"You're right. Thank you, sweetie." He smiled at Sasuke, who almost beamed with joy.

**After the breakfast...**

"Bye, Naruto." Sasuke waved goodbye to Naruto before calling his brother to tell him about his newest decision.

"_Hi, it's Itachi speaking."_ Sasuke sighed with relief when he heard that it was his brother who had answered. No matter how much he loved his brother, he coouldn't help but to feel uneasy around the gigant known as Kisame.

"Hi, it's me again."

"_Oh, wait a minute... What the hell are you going to do with that __**screwdriver**__?... I'm back." _It sounded as if Itachi was wrestling someone and losing.

"**Ooh... Wild and crazy**." Sasuke teased.

_"Shut up and tell me what you want."_ Itachi sounded almost like he was pouting.

_"_I'm breaking up with Naruto and I'm wondering if I can stay with you for a while." Sasuke swallowed a lump that had formed in his throat.

_"Kisame, stop it." _Itachi sounded extremely serious and extremely parental. "_Of course you can live with us."_

"Are you sure Kisame won't have anything against it?"

_"Oh, he'll just have to bear with it. Why are you breaking up with him?" _Sasuke could hear Kisame's rough voice claming that he didn't mind Sasuke staying with them and he smiled.

"What you said yesterday made me think and you're right, I should find someone who actually loves me." Sasuke started to cry silently. "Thank you, aniki. And thank Kisame for me too."

_"Of course."_ Sasuke couldn't decide if Itachi sounded sad or happy. _"Do you want help? I could come right now, if you want."_

"Yes, please. As soon as possible. I'm going to leave a note. I can't bear saying it to him." Sasuke broke out with extreme sobbing.

_"I'm coming now."_ He once again sounded more like a parent than a brother.

"Thank you." They hung up and ten minutes later both Itachi and Kisame showed up. They packed all Sasuke's things and left with Itachi holding the crying Sasuke in the backseat of Kisame's blue van. **(A/N: Don't you think Kisame's car would be a blue van? Wouldn't that be awesome?)**

When Naruto came home he was met with silence.

"Sasuke? Where are you?" Naruto opened the door to the bedroom and saw an envelope in the spot where Sasuke's pillow should have been. He opened it and read it contents:

_Naruto, I'm truly sorry about this, but I can't stay with you. I beg you not to come looking for me. You can't belive how extremely hard this is for me to do this, because I truly do love you. I know what you may feel for me is close to that, but I can't let you crush me everytime you don't say 'I love you' to me. I need someone who loves me and proves that they do. I'm grateful to you for caring about me, I truly am. I wanted you to love me, but I guess that it is impossible for you to do that. I also want to ask you one final thing: don't hurt yourself again, please. I don't know if you'll do as I ask, I can however at least hope. I'll remember you, maybe not forever, but for a long time._

_Love, Sasuke._

Naruto stared at the letter, reading it over and over again. It didn't take a genious to figure out that he was with Itachi, his only living relative, his best friend. But Naruto didn't want to look for him. It was clear thar Sasuke didn't want him in his life anymore. Naruto crumpled the paper so it was impossible to read the beautiful writing. He blinked away the tears that had pooled in his eyes. He knew that what Sasuke had written was true. He didn't love Sasuke the way Sasuke had loved him, but his feelings for the boy was close enough to make it feel like someone had ripped away a part of his soul as Sasuke had left him. He slowly got up and walked to the bathroom. He picked the **razorblade** he had used the previous night up. He stared at the small specks of blood that decorated it. He raised it high, knowing that the pain he was about to recive was nothing compared to the pain he had made Sasuke suffer. He plunged it deep down in his arm and dragged it along the underside of it. The last thing he saw before passing out was his red blood pulsing out from his pale arm.

**The next day... With Sasuke...**

Sasuke sat on the sofa in Itachi and Kisame's apartment, reading the newspaper when he saw the small article, complete with a small picture of Naruto.

_**Famous male model dead.**_

_This morning the famous male model Uzumaki Naruto was found dead in his own bahtroom by an old friend. He seems to have commited suicide. He became 25 before he ended his life._

Sasuke felt a lonely tear roll down his left cheek.

**A/N: The ending was bad, but I didn't know what to say. I was overcome with anger at myself for killing Naruto, so I'm sorry!! Anyway, please rewiev!!**


End file.
